


To Be Seen

by Sent2TheBeast



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: 2x18, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-26
Updated: 2017-07-26
Packaged: 2018-12-07 03:33:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11615010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sent2TheBeast/pseuds/Sent2TheBeast
Summary: "Magnus can feel himself giving in to it, giving in to loving Alexander. And that's when it happens. He feels the glamour fade from his eyes, emotions erupting out of him, he can't get a handle on it."My take on how the scene progresses from Magnus' "Sometimes I lose control" in the Freeform ad to the bed scene in the 2x18 Promo. Originally a comment on a tumblr post from a username I can't currently remember, so I thought I'd post it here as well.





	To Be Seen

Alec walks them backward into Magnus' room. Magnus, with his hands already around Alec's waist almost immediately starts tugging Alec's shirt off. They collapse onto the bed, lips seeking each other out, hands exploring new territory. Magnus can feel himself giving in to it, giving in to loving Alexander. And that's when it happens. He feels the glamour fade from his eyes, emotions erupting out of him, he can't get a handle on it.

He clamps his eyes shut, he can't get the glamour back, no matter how hard he tries. He's too aware of Alec's warmth beside him, the blind faith, and the love that is radiating off his body. He pushes away from Alec, as if he has been burned. The once fervent electricity that sparked between them has died out. Magnus is fighting, hard, to keep himself together. But he's lost control, and he can't get it back, because he's too worked up, and Alec's right there, and he's asking him what's wrong, and Magnus doesn't want to tell him, he doesn't, he doesn't.

And Alec's hand is resting on his shoulder, a calming pressure that Magnus uses to steady himself, to quiet the anxious thoughts in his head. And he knows he has to try. If he ever wants to trust Alexander with his whole being, he knows he has to show him exactly who he is.

And Alec is so honest, and so good, and wears his heart on his sleeve, and sacrifices everything for the people he cares about. And Magnus has never had that, never had someone that cared so much, so quickly, and he's put up too many walls, and he's hidden too much of himself behind clothing, and makeup, and a confidence that Magnus has never really had. And it's not fair to Alec, to hide this part of himself away. Not when Alec has given every part of himself so freely, so without thought. And so, for once, for the first time in a long time he swallows down the fear. And he tells Alec the truth

"Sometimes, I lose control" and he fights against every fiber of his being that tells him to keep hiding, and he looks straight into Alec's eyes. Half expecting Alec to turn and run, just like so many had before him.

Thousands had took one look at his eyes, called him a monster, and fled. His own mother had killed herself to get away from those eyes of his. And he hates them, he hates them so much, and he knows they make him ugly, that anyone who sees them will leave. He's fighting back tears as Alec's breath catches in his throat, as Alec goes still. Magnus knows he's made a mistake, that for every good thing Alec is, he's still a Shadowhunter, and Magnus still has demon blood coursing through his veins, and until now, Alec could ignore it. And he should have expected it, he should have known that nothing good would come from trusting his heart, from letting it lay waste to the walls around his soul. But he was getting so tired of hiding. Alec is still staring at him, his mouth hanging open a little, frozen in place.

"You hate them," Magnus says, and forces a laugh "You can say it, everyone does,"

And it's enough to break Alec from his stupor, "What?" he shakes his head, as if to ground himself back to this moment. He pushes himself up, until he's shoulder to shoulder with Magnus, and he takes his hand in his "Magnus, they're...you're...beautiful," and Alec doesn't care that he's blushing. He runs a thumb across Magnus' cheek, turns his head so that they are face to face. "I could look at those eyes for the rest of my life."

Magnus smiles softly, quickly against the tears that are welling in his eyes, against the swelling of his heart.

"Magnus," and Alec is so close now, Magnus can feel his body heat sink into his skin. He's got his hands resting on Magnus' arms, he's staring right into Magnus' eyes. And he can't quite explain how touched it makes him, knowing Alec, knowing how much he hates to make eye contact with anyone. "Thank you for showing me." He bites his lip, "You know...it's okay to lose control sometimes,"

He swipes at the tears under Magnus' eyes, which only makes it harder for Magnus to catch his breath. To be touched like this, the way that Alec is, soft, and caring, and...not at all scared or uncertain about what he is doing. Talking to him, holding him, touching him, pulling them closer instead of pushing them as far apart as possible. Alec wraps Magnus' in a hug, pressing their foreheads together, and where normally they would close their eyes, drink in the scent of each other, the care for each other, the magic that flowed between them. Instead, Alec keeps looking into Magnus' eyes, a crooked smile tugging at his cheeks.

And every doubt Magnus had in his mind that Alec would break his heart, fluttered away. Looking at Alec, drinking him in, Magnus let himself think about the future for the first time in a century. They pull apart eventually, and Magnus can feel the control starting to seep back in to his bones, but he doesn't put the glamor up. Instead, he closes his eyes, and he presses his lips gently to Alec's.

The kiss catches fire, but the flame burns like an oil lamp, slow, careful, controlled. Not like the hasty, careless need they had felt when Alec had first pressed their mouths together, or Magnus had kissed down Alec's stomach. This was no longer a need, it was a want. A desire, to be close to Alec, to be as close to Alec as he possibly could. He wraps his arms around Alec, he pulls himself into Alec's lap, breaking the kiss to smile as Alec's hand automatically goes to his thigh, drifting upwards to wiggle it's way under Magnus' shirt, to press itself flat against the small of Magnus' back. And Magnus breaks the kiss, just to help Alec along, guiding his hands upward, tugging his shirt over his head, smiling as Alec's hand brushes against his side, across the ridges of his ribs.

As Alec looked at Magnus, shirtless, his pupils blown wide. Their lips meet again, they do not crash together, they just drift to each other like a feather floating through the air. As soon as Magnus' bare back hits the soft satin sheets of his bed, as Alec straddles him, but made no further moves, just sits and looks at Magnus, presses kisses to Magnus' eyelids, to the corner of his mouth, Magnus loses all sense of time. He has lived for over four hundred years, minutes often seemed like hours, and years seemed like minutes, but here, in this room with Alec, time stood still.

**Author's Note:**

> As always comments, critiques, general anything welcome. You can find me at fatal-vision.tumblr.com.


End file.
